Well of course sex sells, but where does the line become crossed, it was interesting, or maybe disturbing to read that Mark Magee reports more complaints of a sexual nature from learner drivers in the last year compared to previous years. Of course there are big question marks surrounding this, what constitutes a sexual advance, what particular word or action would be considered to be inappropriate.
It is a fact that learning to drive creates a relationship between learner and trainer, just as in any tutor role, after all we have all read the stories of teachers absconding with their pupils, in fact I knew a teacher from my school days who upped and left his family of four and went into hiding with a sixteen year old girl. Knowing the family well, it was quite a difficult time for them all, a well respected head of year turned to being a refuse collector to support them both. Does this happen within the learning to drive community, of course possibly even to that extreme. I have met many women who married their ADI. So when does a professional relationship become a personal one.
We would be horrified if teachers in schools were suggestive towards our children, but a trainee student is an adult, so should the same view be taken, well during some research on the learning to drive process some of the responses were quite obviously indicative of uncomfortable car situations, but is that because the young female, as they were by the far the larger group who had a story to tell, feel embarrassed or unsure of their sexuality so respond poorly in an intimate environment. From a female point of view, if you are 'trapped' in a vehicle with a good looking male you are more likely to behave differently and try to perform better, whilst trying to appear cool and knowing and sexy. However, in the car with a butch female, the working environment could be taken more seriously as there is no pressure to display a more adult impression than might otherwise seem necessary. As a woman, who remembers those teenage years too clearly, nature made the decision of attraction and being mature enough to overcome that is not so easy.
This doesn't of course solve the problem. Some of the things sited in my research were such normal everyday comments it was very difficult, even trying to find a suggestive nature, to pinpoint certain phrases as sexual. You look nice today - I mean, really? Do you have a boyfriend? - is that a come on, or just polite conversation to relax the student? Your legs look nice in jeans - well I guess you could take that the wrong way. However, I fail to see any of the above statements grounds for complaint.
Other comments which could be stepping on the line or inching over included, feel how cold my hands are - which could just be someone who is kinesthetic but touching is always a no go area. I've had a row with my wife this morning, and proceeding to tell the details - why? These two comments alone saw different variations, but they all were viewed as negative by the females. The males who took part could see no problem with any of these statements, so maybe it really is that women are vastly different from men.
The comments that were completely across the boundary included, you are gorgeous, you should have been a model - from a driving instructor? Let me help you with your seat belt - if they can't do it themselves should they be driving, falls into the personal space no go area. I am a photographer too, I can take some pictures for your portfolio they'd look great - advertising photography to impressionable females could definitely fall into the seduction scenario, innocent or not. Do you fancy meeting up when I'm not working - two single people, maybe acceptable after all there are plenty of office romances, but that is in an equal environment, the tuition car is an unequal environment just as a school or college would be. This could be interpreted as grooming.
It is funny that female instructors, who have their fair share of advances from male pupils, never see it necessary to complain, in fact sometimes it's flattering, who would we complain to? Our association? Would we stop the lessons, taking into account the financial environment, or is it a matter for the Police?
We all have our own idea of inappropriate behaviour, and many are quick to judge and jump in, but from an instructors point of view, and reflecting on Mr Magee's comments, are we at risk, do we need in car cameras to protect our integrity or will that make no difference at all. Because the research clearly identifies that an offensive comment or action to one is deemed as an over reaction or not worthy of comment by others. Would every ADI be shocked by their pupils thoughts. Because as individuals, pass this on to the court system and there is exactly the same problem, the definition in law of sexual advance is an attempt to gain sexual favour, with the best will in the world, is that really going to happen on the back seat of a modern hatchback? Especially when valuable working hours are lost. Is that honestly the intention of instructors who may feel that this is the best way to break the ice, with a bit of innuendo or flattery.
As a community of instructors it is important to know what the boundaries are, despite how obvious they may appear, what the boundaries are that are expected of the executive agency that licences us and where our protection comes from. A teenager having a bad day can ruin someones career, what's your protection?
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